lenasaur

Search for a member

lenasaur

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7403
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

lenasaur's page activity

Visits<b>leograyback</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:32am<b>redrain567</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 7:48pm<b>xyris</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:36pm<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:06am<b>hfudge</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:58pm<b>hjnd2396</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:32pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:34pm<b>marryspencerreid</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:29am<b>Louie2013</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:56pm<b>OnceUponABear</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:34am<b>jpchavez97</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:45pm<b>sssa</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:20am<b>aceofhearts722</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:55am<b>nickdailey</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:34pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:58am<b>penguin_bitchez</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:43am<b>tellyc</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 7:51pm<b>_Willa_</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 8:48pm

lenasaur's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lenasaur's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

by damncat / 12/08/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

by WoofWoof / 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

by HassledAirfarer / 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

by Bill / 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

by soupduped / 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

by Sissy / 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

by Marcella_03 / 12/05/2009 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

by Worsttreeever / 12/05/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

by Wino / 12/04/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my camera down 4 flights of circular stairs from the top of a lighthouse. Everything worked, it just had a few dents. Then, as I went to put it in my pocket, I missed. It fell 3 feet and hit the floor. Now it won't turn on. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2009 at 6:43pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

by mainlaw / 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Love