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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39996) - you deserved it (3135)
On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (1627)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56521) - you deserved it (3926)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Hellohaileyexoh (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44817) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (32343)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (2825)
On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58502) - you deserved it (8835)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (46172)
On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by jerk (man) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177626) - you deserved it (25392)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (62952)
On 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by ShamedJP (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a 7 year old girl came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193248) - you deserved it (18044)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (125804) - you deserved it (8057)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5273) - you deserved it (29186)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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