lenasaur

Search for a member

lenasaur

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7896
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

lenasaur's page activity

Visits<b>leograyback</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:32am<b>redrain567</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 7:48pm<b>xyris</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:36pm<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:06am<b>hfudge</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:58pm<b>hjnd2396</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:32pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:34pm<b>marryspencerreid</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:29am<b>Louie2013</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:56pm<b>OnceUponABear</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:34am<b>jpchavez97</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:45pm<b>sssa</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:20am<b>aceofhearts722</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:55am<b>nickdailey</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:34pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:58am<b>penguin_bitchez</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:43am<b>tellyc</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 7:51pm<b>_Willa_</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 8:48pm

lenasaur's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lenasaur's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

by hoboman / 09/02/2009 at 11:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

by SaMike / 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML

by Bee / 08/31/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

by lily / 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML

by arsewipe92 / 08/30/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

by newguy / 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

by mommy_issues / 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

by wtfman101 / 08/28/2009 at 10:56am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

by Hellohaileyexoh / 08/27/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

by snakeboy / 08/24/2009 at 12:49am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation