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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (2311)
On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (2561)
On 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (76721)
On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9629) - you deserved it (26349)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:23am - love - by suzanneallen (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (2421)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by CollegeFreshman (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38315) - you deserved it (5393)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42053) - you deserved it (1567)
On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (3178)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (3465)
On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137129) - you deserved it (10982)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31934) - you deserved it (3792)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (3752)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by comet5002 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (3752)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by comet5002 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (36983)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Friday 24 May 2013
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