lemonkittens

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lemonkittens

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2485
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lemonkittens : like:
ADTR, Rise Against, Florence+the Machine, baton twirling, ps3, people who can make me laugh, candy, partying, being sarcastic, felines, Donald Glover

dislike:
stupid questions, stirrup pants, little yappy dogs, hoes, the sun, Glee, ugly children, people who cannot spell and chew with their mouths open.

*you and me, we stand for somethin'.* A Day To Remember

lemonkittens's page activity

Visits<b>teammike</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 6:15pm<b>AUX</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 9:31pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:21pm<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:24pm<b>jwolt92</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 1:26am<b>weedle99</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:59am<b>SupaSlayer</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:27pm<b>azone1118</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 1:32pm<b>mxgirl1998</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:23am<b>ryanding</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:29pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:30pm<b>junko</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:53am<b>joecool86</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 3:35am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 11:02am<b>the_walrus11</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:18pm<b>davered89</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:34pm<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:39pm

Fucked!<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:19am<b>davered89</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:36pm

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lemonkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

by Andrew / 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

by wags34 / 08/22/2011 at 10:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

by lala7 / 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

by Username / 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm / United States / Work

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

by cadillacfrank / 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

by imnotacat / 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous