lemonkittens

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lemonkittens

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2090
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lemonkittens : like:
ADTR, Rise Against, Florence+the Machine, baton twirling, ps3, people who can make me laugh, candy, partying, being sarcastic, felines, Donald Glover

dislike:
stupid questions, stirrup pants, little yappy dogs, hoes, the sun, Glee, ugly children, people who cannot spell and chew with their mouths open.

*you and me, we stand for somethin'.* A Day To Remember

lemonkittens's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:24pm<b>jwolt92</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 1:26am<b>weedle99</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:59am<b>SupaSlayer</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:27pm<b>azone1118</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 1:32pm<b>mxgirl1998</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:23am<b>ryanding</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:29pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:30pm<b>junko</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:53am<b>joecool86</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 3:35am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 11:02am<b>the_walrus11</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:18pm<b>davered89</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:34pm<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:39pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:48am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Ahaddad123</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:05pm

Fucked!<b>LeroyJethroGibbs</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 2:56am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:19am<b>davered89</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:36pm

lemonkittens's FML badges

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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lemonkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 5:45am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

by iamnotalawyer / 03/26/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

by lovefortoday / 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Armagh) / Miscellaneous

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2011 at 8:25pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love