Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lemonkittens

Search for a member

lemonkittens

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1948
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lemonkittens : like:
ADTR, Rise Against, Florence+the Machine, baton twirling, ps3, people who can make me laugh, candy, partying, being sarcastic, felines, Donald Glover

dislike:
stupid questions, stirrup pants, little yappy dogs, hoes, the sun, Glee, ugly children, people who cannot spell and chew with their mouths open.

*you and me, we stand for somethin'.* A Day To Remember

lemonkittens's page activity

Visits<b>ryanding</b> - yesterday at 12:29pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:30pm<b>junko</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:53am<b>joecool86</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 3:35am<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 3:58pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 11:02am<b>the_walrus11</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:18pm<b>davered89</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:34pm<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:39pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:48am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Ahaddad123</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:25am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:10pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:47pm<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:56pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:23am

Fucked!<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:19am<b>davered89</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:36pm

lemonkittens's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of lemonkittens's badges

lemonkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (3343)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11405) - you deserved it (20998)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26854) - you deserved it (3934)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30406) - you deserved it (4881)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24254) - you deserved it (4559)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15761) - you deserved it (26677)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34943) - you deserved it (16643)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

#18350483
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (3776)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36675) - you deserved it (3416)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (4045)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (4045)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49900) - you deserved it (5507)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (3470)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41948) - you deserved it (2646)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: