lemonkittens

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lemonkittens

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2091
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lemonkittens : like:
ADTR, Rise Against, Florence+the Machine, baton twirling, ps3, people who can make me laugh, candy, partying, being sarcastic, felines, Donald Glover

dislike:
stupid questions, stirrup pants, little yappy dogs, hoes, the sun, Glee, ugly children, people who cannot spell and chew with their mouths open.

*you and me, we stand for somethin'.* A Day To Remember

lemonkittens's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:24pm<b>jwolt92</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 1:26am<b>weedle99</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:59am<b>SupaSlayer</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:27pm<b>azone1118</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 1:32pm<b>mxgirl1998</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:23am<b>ryanding</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:29pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:30pm<b>junko</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:53am<b>joecool86</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 3:35am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 11:02am<b>the_walrus11</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:18pm<b>davered89</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:34pm<b>nuka_cola</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:39pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:48am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Ahaddad123</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:05pm

Fucked!<b>LeroyJethroGibbs</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 2:56am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:19am<b>davered89</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:36pm

lemonkittens's FML badges

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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lemonkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

by yesguysgetabusedtoo / 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

by mr_loveless / 02/11/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Love

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

by vagina dentata for christmas, pls / 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm / United States / Love

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

by kmtranter / 12/28/2012 at 6:40am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Intimacy

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

by tapeissticky591 / 07/14/2012 at 1:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

by anon / 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love