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lemonkittens

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lemonkittens

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1088
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lemonkittens : like:
ADTR, Rise Against, Florence+the Machine, baton twirling, ps3, people who can make me laugh, candy, partying, being sarcastic, felines, Donald Glover

dislike:
stupid questions, stirrup pants, little yappy dogs, hoes, the sun, Glee, ugly children, people who cannot spell and chew with their mouths open.

*you and me, we stand for somethin'.* A Day To Remember

lemonkittens's page activity

Visits<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - yesterday at 11:34pm<b>deedeedeniel</b> - yesterday at 11:07pm<b>max2732</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:36pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:57pm<b>zdskfjagkfdhgb99</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:36am<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:44pm<b>gunner_12</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 4:31pm<b>aldos21</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:47pm<b>poor_gurll1198</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:29pm<b>cracchiolo</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 7:58pm<b>jamiejones10</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 8:56pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:51am<b>DWordHead16</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 6:15pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 5:31am<b>nreed32</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 1:33pm<b>DoughtyPine</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 4:46pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 11:17am<b>Aksta</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 5:25pm

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lemonkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58937) - you deserved it (4558)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML

#21092790
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (4090)

On 03/21/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46827) - you deserved it (9227)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42275) - you deserved it (4037)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42780) - you deserved it (5436)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49007) - you deserved it (3948)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (3808)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (14215)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML

#21032966
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37457) - you deserved it (9019)

On 01/19/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (32372) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40163) - you deserved it (2570)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (2956)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)



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