lectricpharaoh

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Offline (the 04/19/2015 at 11:51pm)

lectricpharaoh

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1388
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lectricpharaoh's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:26am<b>lifesafaitytale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:02am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Spentpoet</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:45pm<b>hacksaw246</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 6:19pm<b>SyntheticSound</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:34am<b>ems81193</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:48pm<b>austin_hall29</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:29pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:31pm<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:01pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 5:31am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:08pm<b>jock721</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:21pm<b>OrangeKnife</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 7:24am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 6:18am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:43pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 3:54pm

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lectricpharaoh's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

by the only sober one / 05/15/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

by shittysongs / 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

by soaked / 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

by Acolyte of the Bacon God / 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

by Amy / 01/10/2013 at 12:09am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

by habassistant / 01/02/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy