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lcemaster

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lcemaster

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  • Number of visits : 636
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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lcemaster's page activity

Visits<b>TessMaddie</b> - the 11/09/2012 at 10:48pm

lcemaster's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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lcemaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (20264)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (6416)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32523) - you deserved it (3942)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69141) - you deserved it (3867)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68709) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

#14095149
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13994) - you deserved it (76348)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML

#13645148
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32482) - you deserved it (4186)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by miss cranky pants - United States (California)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (2836)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

#12832697
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (6538)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123054) - you deserved it (12042)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there was no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

#11198963
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (2645)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10320) - you deserved it (36781)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18178) - you deserved it (5088)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (4957)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (3798)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States



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