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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 October 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 413
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lazydavid : I like turtles
I used to kick a round object as a competitive sport.
UMBC!! woof woof
Vampire Weekend is my favorite band
Do you even science?

lazydavid's page activity

Visits<b>McDiabeeto</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:47pm<b>im_joking</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 11:55pm<b>kkbeck17</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 6:36pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 11:45am<b>blondeninja1</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 2:03am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:29pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:56pm<b>klynnlb</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:11pm

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lazydavid's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

by poolgirl789 / 09/03/2013 at 2:30am / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

by goodbye sweet internet / 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm / Greece (Attiki) / Money

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

by blondie107 / 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML

by furred / 06/01/2012 at 12:48am / Philippines / Geek

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

by JJMan217 / 03/29/2011 at 2:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

by Danou / 03/28/2011 at 9:51am / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2009 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals