lazch

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lazch

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4169
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lazch's page activity

Visits<b>BitsOBacon</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 9:40pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 5:52pm<b>hurley12</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 1:57am<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 8:04pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 1:47am

lazch's FML badges

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lazch's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

by Sarsippius / 05/18/2013 at 1:22am / Love

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Love

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

by GaveAnInchTakeAMile / 05/11/2013 at 5:52am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

by trice / 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

by Sirah90 / 05/07/2013 at 3:29am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

by prostitott / 05/04/2013 at 3:22am / Kids

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

by MommaAnnie / 05/02/2013 at 11:59am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

by inyobeddd / 05/02/2013 at 4:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous