lazch

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lazch

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4531
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lazch's page activity

Visits<b>BitsOBacon</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 9:40pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 5:52pm<b>hurley12</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 1:57am<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 8:04pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 1:47am

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lazch's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

by batsu / 01/27/2012 at 1:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

by wish.was.single / 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

by Grandson / 01/01/2012 at 8:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

by guy / 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

by SterlingSilver91 / 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

by WithoutLove / 08/30/2011 at 1:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous