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lazch

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lazch
  • Town/Country : Lubbock,Tx, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1466
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lazch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you deserved it (2565)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

#20491987
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (1439)

On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45957) - you deserved it (3149)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9954) - you deserved it (31424)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (11608)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29960) - you deserved it (2658)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32713) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you deserved it (1918)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36528) - you deserved it (7569)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36811) - you deserved it (8941)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

#20480724
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15551) - you deserved it (34936)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28307) - you deserved it (3295)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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