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lazch

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2000
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lazch's page activity

Visits<b>BitsOBacon</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 9:40pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 5:52pm<b>hurley12</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 1:57am<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 8:04pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 1:47am

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lazch's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (16350)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (38086)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34031) - you deserved it (2228)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47358) - you deserved it (5473)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34510) - you deserved it (6687)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35622) - you deserved it (3151)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (3730)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (35258)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (46335)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (8486)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (6594)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (3415)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68560) - you deserved it (3912)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52649) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32848) - you deserved it (4009)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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