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lazch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1802
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lazch's page activity

Visits<b>BitsOBacon</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 9:40pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 5:52pm<b>hurley12</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 1:57am<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 8:04pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 1:47am

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lazch's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52701) - you deserved it (2765)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50570) - you deserved it (6113)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (2239)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38750) - you deserved it (6280)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

#20832201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41157) - you deserved it (5935)

On 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm - misc - by just about pissed off (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46326) - you deserved it (3358)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58872) - you deserved it (3136)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (42686)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

#20802342
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51194) - you deserved it (2688)

On 07/25/2013 at 1:47am - love - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55798) - you deserved it (18849)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41841) - you deserved it (4286)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML



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