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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (3868)
On 03/05/2011 at 9:19am - intimacy - by mrssagdiyev (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (9705)
On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML
I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (2991) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (9737)
On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (82992) - you deserved it (9947)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (6775)
On 11/27/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56255) - you deserved it (3037)
On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40185) - you deserved it (5048)
On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)
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