About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (2208)
On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)
Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25050) - you deserved it (2657)
On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (3956)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20644) - you deserved it (6093)
On 09/01/2011 at 5:58pm - misc - by Why_Not31 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (2671)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25047) - you deserved it (2204)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (5412)
On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States
Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8175) - you deserved it (31442)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (6250)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26992) - you deserved it (1969)
On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States
Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (1737)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:40pm - misc - by concertqueen - United States (California)
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (36785)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (2452)
On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15225) - you deserved it (10258)
On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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