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lastsinglepanda

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lastsinglepanda
  • Town/Country : Pretoria, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2996
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "

lastsinglepanda's last visitors

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lastsinglepanda's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lastsinglepanda's badges

lastsinglepanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24123) - you deserved it (11766)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13365) - you deserved it (34595)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24712) - you deserved it (3017)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

#18272205
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (4527)

On 11/17/2011 at 11:50am - work - by Chubby - United States

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

#18249265
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (1641)

On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (2448)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (4190)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25854) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9928) - you deserved it (37095)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7036) - you deserved it (98347)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

#18209020
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (2582)

On 11/10/2011 at 9:35am - money - by Agathus (man) - United Arab Emirates

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13726) - you deserved it (29675)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)



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