About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17034) - you deserved it (4886)
On 12/25/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (1377)
On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (11576)
On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11486) - you deserved it (26211)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (2434)
On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (3451)
On 11/17/2011 at 11:50am - work - by Chubby - United States
Today, a policeman and me confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31233) - you deserved it (1618)
On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2427)
On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (3214)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25267) - you deserved it (3168)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8678) - you deserved it (27763)
On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33247) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22285) - you deserved it (1807)
On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)
Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6546) - you deserved it (79165)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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