About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "
lastsinglepanda's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
lastsinglepanda's favorite FMLs
by holyshart / 06/05/2012 at 5:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML
by KenzFell / 06/05/2012 at 3:27am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML
by kufan1324 / 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm / United States / Work
by boohoo / 06/04/2012 at 8:45am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
by Stolemylady / 06/04/2012 at 3:05am / Australia / Love
Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
by dating a manchild / 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML
by kay / 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy
Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML
by Silent / 06/01/2012 at 10:24am / Singapore / Love
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 6:22am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
- Today, I completely forgot I was on my period. I had worked an 11 hour shift; was exhausted and I… Today I went to the shops, commando. And old lady started to sing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to me.… Today, I had a first date with my crush. I bit strait into a blood vessel of the chicken I ordered.…