Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lastsinglepanda

Offline (the 07/16/2014 at 6:20pm) | Search for a member

lastsinglepanda

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3448
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "

lastsinglepanda's page activity

Visits<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 12:12pm<b>pacelily</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 11:49pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:09am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 1:09pm<b>mandacleary</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:48pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:41pm<b>c4rpi0</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:39pm<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:00pm<b>WeDance4Screams</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:16pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 3:55pm<b>stevegronowski</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:15pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:26am<b>sabrinaacrow</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:23pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 9:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:26pm

lastsinglepanda's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lastsinglepanda's badges

lastsinglepanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

#19737308
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18308) - you deserved it (2085)

On 06/05/2012 at 5:03am - misc - by holyshart - United States

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

#19737125
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (2560)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (2846)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

#19731681
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (17418)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML

#19730976
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (5925)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:05am - love - by Stolemylady - Australia

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

#19727538
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (9941)

On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML

#19720513
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (2004)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14950) - you deserved it (28380)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (2595)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

#19717228
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29057) - you deserved it (6545)

On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (3769)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (2560)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML

#19714803
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20621) - you deserved it (4085)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:24am - love - by Silent (man) - Singapore

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (2307)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

#19708636
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18446) - you deserved it (1925)

On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: