lastsinglepanda

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Offline (the 05/31/2015 at 12:19pm)

lastsinglepanda

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6624
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "

lastsinglepanda's page activity

Visits<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:50am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:53am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 12:12pm<b>pacelily</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 11:49pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:09am<b>mandacleary</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:48pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:41pm<b>c4rpi0</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:39pm<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:00pm<b>WeDance4Screams</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:16pm<b>stevegronowski</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:15pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:26am<b>sabrinaacrow</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:23pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 9:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:26pm

lastsinglepanda's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of lastsinglepanda's badges

lastsinglepanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

by TimeForACareerChange / 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm / United States / Work

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML

by RIP / 07/15/2012 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

by minaaaaajftw / 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

by Cassidy Bowen / 06/16/2012 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

by davav74 / 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

by Ciara / 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm / Ireland (Cork) / Health

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

by anon / 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2012 at 2:47pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Work