lastsinglepanda

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Offline (the 05/31/2015 at 12:19pm)

lastsinglepanda

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7256
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "

lastsinglepanda's page activity

Visits<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:50am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:53am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 12:12pm<b>pacelily</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 11:49pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:09am<b>mandacleary</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:48pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:41pm<b>c4rpi0</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:39pm<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:00pm<b>WeDance4Screams</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:16pm<b>stevegronowski</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:15pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:26am<b>sabrinaacrow</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:23pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 9:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:26pm

lastsinglepanda's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of lastsinglepanda's badges

lastsinglepanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

by blaise / 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

by batgirl / 11/20/2008 at 7:55am / Love

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

by lageste / 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm / Love

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

by AgathedeBlouse / 11/18/2008 at 1:42am / Animals