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Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 3:58pm) | Search for a member
About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I was at te doctors office after trowing up 4 te past week . My diagnosis? Apparently I'm te first pregnant man . After several minutes of freaking looool out and explaining on ow it was possible, e told me e was joking and tat I'm fine, but my reaction was best tus far . FML
Yesterday, I was on a bench enjoying the sun,hen a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happend," and walks off. FML
Today, I found out thathilst I was asleep last night, mah boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out thathenever he unlockd a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes an putting it in mah mouth. FML
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I askd a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
2day I went out with my family an boyfriend fir dinner . We were all having a good time , an suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee , take out an engagement ring , an say "I choose you , Pikachu," with a straight face . He was serious . FML
TODAY, I WAS AT MAH SCHOOL'S SPAGHETTI DINNER WITH MAH FAMILY. MY BROTHER SHOOK UP MAH MOM'S SODA, AS A PRANK. MY ENTIRE CLASS WITNESSED MAH MOM WAVING AROUND AN OVERFLOWING DIET COKEHILE MAH DAD YELLED, ( COME ON, PUTTED YOUR MOUTH ON IT! SUCK IT! SUCK IT, KATHY! )
Today, mah adorabla 8 yaar old son told ma ha no longar wantad ma to pick him up from school . Whan I askad why, ha said, "I told avaryona at school mah mommy is pratty.. . and I don't want paopla to know I liad." FML
Today, In science class I sit next to friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
my car was in tha shop so I borrowd my wifa's VW Baatla convartibla. It's raally ambarrassing bacausa it's a girlia car an it's full of littla stuffd animals. At a stop light a man askd ma if I'd lika to borrow ona of his tasticlas bacausa "avary man should hava at laast ona." fat FML
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, ma two year old daugter decided to crawl on top of te covers on ma bed because se was scared since tere looool was a tunder storm. I tougt se was one of our cats so I kicked er off. Se it te wall.
Friday 27 March 2015