Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lastsinglepanda

Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 3:58pm) | Search for a member

lastsinglepanda

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3611
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "

lastsinglepanda's page activity

Visits<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 12:12pm<b>pacelily</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 11:49pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:09am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 1:09pm<b>mandacleary</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:48pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:41pm<b>c4rpi0</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:39pm<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:00pm<b>WeDance4Screams</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:16pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 3:55pm<b>stevegronowski</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:15pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:26am<b>sabrinaacrow</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:23pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 9:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:26pm

lastsinglepanda's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lastsinglepanda's badges

lastsinglepanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (6083)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

#17167728
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (11351)

On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it on alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML

#17161191
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (3672)

On 07/18/2011 at 9:08am - misc - by _TaToRtOt_ (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37293) - you deserved it (3287)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (7579)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39323) - you deserved it (4247)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54609) - you deserved it (9321)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73632) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

#17078585
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33612) - you deserved it (11138)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (2868)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12966) - you deserved it (51575)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (6361)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18337) - you deserved it (93884)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44852) - you deserved it (4800)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69703) - you deserved it (6564)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: