About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "
lastsinglepanda's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
lastsinglepanda's favorite FMLs
by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
by stargirl / 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by _TaToRtOt_ / 07/18/2011 at 9:08am / United States (Virginia) / Money
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
by Rejected / 07/16/2011 at 9:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by turtle / 07/12/2011 at 9:26am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by Snurkles / 07/07/2011 at 8:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I learned that the apartment building which I just signed a 1 year lease on is now condemned… Today, I got home from a double shift to find my husband in bed with my sister. Also, I found out I… Today, I saved up enough money to get my phone fixed because the screen had broke. Excited leaving…