lastsinglepanda

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Offline (the 05/31/2015 at 12:19pm)

lastsinglepanda

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 June 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5934
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lastsinglepanda : " I'm not young enough to know everything so if stupidity got us into this, then why can't it get us out again? "

lastsinglepanda's page activity

Visits<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:50am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:53am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:30pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 12:12pm<b>pacelily</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 11:49pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:09am<b>mandacleary</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:48pm<b>ChewyODU</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:41pm<b>c4rpi0</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:39pm<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:00pm<b>WeDance4Screams</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:16pm<b>stevegronowski</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:15pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:26am<b>sabrinaacrow</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 5:23pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 9:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:26pm

lastsinglepanda's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of lastsinglepanda's badges

lastsinglepanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

by Username / 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

by Champion the wonder horse / 07/28/2011 at 4:15am / United States / Work

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

by anonymous / 07/28/2011 at 1:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

by unnamed / 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

by ninja_blasphemer / 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out my grandmother has severe road rage after she complained about Pennsylvania drivers for over an hour, then decided to rear end one because he wouldn't get out of her way. FML

by Courtney / 07/21/2011 at 5:54am / United States / Transportation

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

by cheddar / 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

by craphanded / 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Animals