landini2014

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landini2014

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  • Number of visits : 8696
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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landini2014's page activity

Visits<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:26pm<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 8:52am<b>pieman528</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 2:56am

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Up and coming moderator

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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landini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

by dev / 08/28/2011 at 2:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

by Puppy Loverr / 08/25/2011 at 3:12am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

by socialdisease / 08/22/2011 at 11:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML

by IronFoot / 08/13/2011 at 10:41pm / Canada / Health

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

by auntoftheyear / 08/10/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

by Jilly / 08/08/2011 at 2:45am / Australia / Kids

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

by Jilly / 08/08/2011 at 2:45am / Australia / Kids

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

by fugachumi / 08/07/2011 at 4:08am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML

by Taylor D / 08/07/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

by laurlaur / 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

by jellymoon14 / 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work