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landini2014

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landini2014

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  • Number of visits : 2114
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:26pm<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 8:52am<b>pieman528</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 2:56am

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landini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

#19106281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (1662)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:20am - health - by AnastasiyaNicholas - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (5040)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32086) - you deserved it (6166)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

#19063731
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (2479)

On 02/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

#19059708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (2106)

On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML

#18987480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23453) - you deserved it (10524)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

#18976383
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (6949)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by Mrs. Man (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (4840)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (2572)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

#18878139
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (6529)

On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML

#18857605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (2584)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:46pm - misc - by BadassRumbleroar - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

#18839775
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (4489)

On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7253) - you deserved it (25471)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28076) - you deserved it (2831)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)



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