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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
yesterday I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, ( Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable. ) The entire room burst into laughter. FML
yesterday mah son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I cummed to looool as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML
Today, I downloadd an application that notifies me when my phone is fully chargd. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I pluggd the charger in and went to bd. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new nieghbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over there backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel lyk an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. mega FML
Today,hile waiting tables, I watchd a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then calld me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy cuz they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
todayile waiting 4 ma boyfriend to get out of te sower, I cattd wit is grandma. As soon as we ear im exit te restroom, se smirks at me and lets a uge, smelly fart out. Se blamd it on me. My boyfriend believd er. FML
Today Ma Dog Managd To Pull A One-pound Package Of Raw Bacon Out And Eat Te Entire Package Including Te Cardboard. Te Vets Ceereden Tey Finally Got Im To Puke Up Te Entire Uncewd Package Of Bacon. FML
Friday 27 March 2015