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landini2014

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  • Number of visits : 2146
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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landini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML

#19316250
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (1739)

On 03/20/2012 at 8:23pm - kids - by LadyJ (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (2386)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (7106)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

#19307115
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7928) - you deserved it (42125)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

#19303310
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/18/2012 at 8:51pm - money - by liver (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (2601)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (4422)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

#19291503
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (2797)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (11871)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26022) - you deserved it (12695)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML

#19228938
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (1710)

On 03/06/2012 at 7:34pm - misc - by Alex (woman) - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

#19226913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

#19226382
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (4168)

On 03/06/2012 at 8:56am - love - by biggirlsdocry (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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