landini2014

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landini2014

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6951
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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landini2014's page activity

Visits<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:26pm<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 8:52am<b>pieman528</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 2:56am

landini2014's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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landini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

by kirsty / 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

by screaming monkey / 04/04/2012 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead) / Health

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 3:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

by Eliza / 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

by Scarred / 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML

by Ralph / 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

by potatoebee / 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 10:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

by thatscreamerguy / 04/03/2012 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

by DanteWest1000 / 04/03/2012 at 12:43am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML

by Kilimanjaro / 04/03/2012 at 12:41am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

by unfriendlyskies / 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Money

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML

by Kelly / 04/02/2012 at 2:44pm / United States (California) / Money