Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

landini2014

Search for a member

landini2014

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2537
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

landini2014's page activity

Visits<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:26pm<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 8:52am<b>pieman528</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 2:56am

landini2014's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of landini2014's badges

landini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

#19460705
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (2801)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:15am - love - by prego - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

#19460687
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (1955)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:12am - love - by Beth (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10305) - you deserved it (27142)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

#19460207
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8702) - you deserved it (25414)

On 04/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

#19460207
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8702) - you deserved it (25414)

On 04/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20371) - you deserved it (6403)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we need to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

#19457923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9740) - you deserved it (33205)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:02pm - misc - by marymark - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

#19457431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19051) - you deserved it (6423)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (19225)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

#19454925
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (12258)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

#19454762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23574) - you deserved it (2739)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by crazydaughter - Egypt

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

#19453519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (3642)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18276) - you deserved it (47498)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

#19451298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (4211)

On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

#19440828
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15160) - you deserved it (10787)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:35am - health - by logkitty - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: