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landini2014

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landini2014

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  • Number of visits : 2147
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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landini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37727) - you deserved it (2743)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML

#19472692
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (1727)

On 04/15/2012 at 1:38pm - animals - by really mom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

#19472127
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7855) - you deserved it (28396)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:29am - misc - by Salvation711 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

#19471721
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (4196)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:55am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

#19470804
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (12267)

On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

#19470748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8920) - you deserved it (41403)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I played a game with my boyfriend. The point of the game is to write down everything you like about someone. I put down at least ten things for him. He had one thing down for me: my boobs. FML

#19469984
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23485) - you deserved it (5336)

On 04/15/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Were do we go... - United States

Today, I played a game with my boyfriend. The point of the game is to write down everything you like about someone. I put down at least ten things for him. He had one thing down for me: my boobs. FML

#19469984
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23485) - you deserved it (5336)

On 04/15/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Were do we go... - United States

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (5748)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

#19467160
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (1794)

On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

#19466099
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23869) - you deserved it (1777)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13317) - you deserved it (54532) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML

#19462758
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5441) - you deserved it (40482)

On 04/13/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by c*nt (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

#19462191
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18639) - you deserved it (3975)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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