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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34126) - you deserved it (3525)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62195) - you deserved it (4864)
On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (3652)
On 06/11/2013 at 12:12am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50867) - you deserved it (13814)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40534) - you deserved it (4091)
On 06/10/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Bridget Jones? - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)
Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40496) - you deserved it (10517)
On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45027) - you deserved it (3148)
On 06/05/2013 at 12:22am - health - by TooSunnyForSkin - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50022) - you deserved it (13617)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (29447)
On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34951) - you deserved it (8656)
On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (4743)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44846) - you deserved it (26724)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (7585)
On 05/27/2013 at 9:42am - animals - by Nearly Crashed (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47905) - you deserved it (2344)
On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47205) - you deserved it (2332)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom
Monday 17 June 2013
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