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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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lajx014

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lajx014
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 June 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 684
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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lajx014's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

#950316 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (102893) - you deserved it (7129)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (36498)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML

#738604 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (54777) - you deserved it (6686)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:04am - love - by internetadvice (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

#726526 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (55884) - you deserved it (2521)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me that she would never, ever want to be proposed to at a professional sports game of any kind, and she feels sorry for women who are subjected to that. We are going to a Mets on April 26th, and I already planned out the whole proposal...scoreboard and all. FML

#724441 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (60413) - you deserved it (14596)

On 03/31/2009 at 2:22pm - love - by baseball_boyfriend (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (16021) - you deserved it (52520)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

#713062 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (92321) - you deserved it (3902)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Julie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (58645)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (70313) - you deserved it (2909)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (92667) - you deserved it (11979)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (11960) - you deserved it (54652)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

#257838 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (47653) - you deserved it (2616)

On 03/10/2009 at 12:20am - love - by nononame (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (53794)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (103550)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (60402) - you deserved it (12473)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)