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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (5214)
On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (313)
On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (1132)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15343) - you deserved it (1296)
On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (1465)
On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States
Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14015) - you deserved it (6853)
On 06/26/2012 at 12:16pm - misc - by eviltwigster (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28896) - you deserved it (3585)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (5223)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (6755)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (1314)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)
Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14524) - you deserved it (2304)
On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14814) - you deserved it (3333)
On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (16227)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (1706)
On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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