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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13551
  • Number of comments : 3041
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - yesterday at 10:11pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:19pm<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:01pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 8:34am<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:33pm<b>doge_ram</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:50pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:41pm<b>unpossible</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:27pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:13pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Broseidon93</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:07pm<b>chaylea</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:34pm

Fucked!<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (2679)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (24580)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31941) - you deserved it (3967)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31601) - you deserved it (5704)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15075) - you deserved it (28617)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27984) - you deserved it (5719)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32460) - you deserved it (7194)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28658) - you deserved it (2843)

On 04/11/2015 at 11:05pm - kids - by ShampooThief - United States

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (17654)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (2455)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31488) - you deserved it (4147)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30629) - you deserved it (2364)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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