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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

24Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10747
  • Number of comments : 2651
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here, innit?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - 7 hours ago<b>wazzup206</b> - yesterday at 3:01am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:28am<b>dakotajohn</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 11:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:54pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:46pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:39am<b>devildog562</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:11pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:39pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:37am<b>imafan123</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:11am<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:13am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:36pm<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:20pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:06pm<b>captain_crook</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:06pm<b>FAKECRASH59</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:33am

Fucked!<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:20am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:01pm<b>coraline123c</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:49am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:07pm<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38695) - you deserved it (8477)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (3619)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40684) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44908) - you deserved it (10861)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51998) - you deserved it (21251)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42330) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (39879)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (13043)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49310) - you deserved it (21295)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54850) - you deserved it (3690)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40561) - you deserved it (6508)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43539) - you deserved it (10343)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52504) - you deserved it (5132)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51387) - you deserved it (11860)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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