About laden_swallow09 : It is a shame that correcting stupidity is called assault in the court system.
Oh, before I forget, I'm on the iPhone app only, so I'm sorry that I can't read your hate mail! :(
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17678) - you deserved it (2690)
On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (2622)
On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5527) - you deserved it (13457)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5527) - you deserved it (13457)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9215) - you deserved it (36858)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by gemma - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18987) - you deserved it (2838)
On 09/11/2012 at 11:08am - health - by Stevski (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11476) - you deserved it (7435)
Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (1276)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (1939)
On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States
Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (1647)
On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5941) - you deserved it (12094)
On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14417) - you deserved it (2960)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (2000)
On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19022) - you deserved it (1411)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19912) - you deserved it (7502)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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