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laden_swallow09

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 4:10pm) | Search for a member

laden_swallow09

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5441
  • Number of comments : 1967
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - one hour ago<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:51am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:22pm<b>WantaDanish</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:36am<b>tylerbrynds</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:34am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:36am<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>akirakuran42</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:31pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:12pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:23pm<b>JustinKs</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:54pm<b>josiemijn</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:32pm<b>FedoraGuy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:38pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Onyxdragon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:41am<b>moonbootz</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:59am<b>hare</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:18am

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40455) - you deserved it (2700)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36709) - you deserved it (12452)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (19825)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66742) - you deserved it (5558)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37809) - you deserved it (5819)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40009) - you deserved it (2794)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49643) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

#20965369
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37314) - you deserved it (6242)

On 11/21/2013 at 1:00am - love - by StarWarsGeek (woman) - United States

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41648) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (63570)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55527) - you deserved it (8445)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML



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