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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

34Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12507
  • Number of comments : 2887
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 9:14am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:33am<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:17am<b>gabbehtm</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:46am<b>aceking602</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:19am<b>bazookajoey</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:39pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:26am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 6:35pm<b>MudkipBeats</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:34pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:25am<b>catums</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:14am<b>Classy_Sassy15</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:53am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:09am<b>racquel1115</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:21pm<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:55am<b>KristoferM13</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:26pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:26pm

Fucked!<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am

laden_swallow09's FML badges

Socialite

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

#21362501
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (3042)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44501) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML

#21358080
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31909) - you deserved it (9690)

On 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm - kids - by Clive81 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (2362)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (3809)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

#21346273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:00pm - health - by ThatWasntFun - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37644) - you deserved it (2581)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (2870)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (18756)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (7251)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML

#21333809
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35523) - you deserved it (2505)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:43am - love - by swimfaned - United States

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (6404)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML

#21328814
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25301) - you deserved it (2333)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:03pm - work - by outofajob - United States (Utah)



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