About laden_swallow09 : It is a shame that correcting stupidity is called assault in the court system.
Oh, before I forget, I'm on the iPhone app only, so I'm sorry that I can't read your hate mail! :(
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21742) - you deserved it (1365)
On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38811) - you deserved it (1328)
On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18624) - you deserved it (1270)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21126) - you deserved it (4033)
On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States
Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16727) - you deserved it (5583)
On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14505) - you deserved it (3267)
On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (2407)
On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (3400)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (3400)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24511) - you deserved it (4522)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17445) - you deserved it (1075)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18432) - you deserved it (2696)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13457) - you deserved it (21307)
On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I thought it would be funny to cut my white trash uncle's rat-tail off. He thought it would be funny to break three of my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6195) - you deserved it (34755)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by umadbrosky - United States (Maryland)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13894) - you deserved it (2278)
On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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