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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13578
  • Number of comments : 3045
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Apparentlyacunt</b> - 43 minutes ago<b>psychopolarbear</b> - 50 minutes ago<b>countryb_cth</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:19pm<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:01pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 8:34am<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:33pm<b>doge_ram</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:50pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:41pm<b>unpossible</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:27pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:13pm

Fucked!<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges


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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (1928)

On 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (7858)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML

Today, my new antidepressants finally kicked in. I switched to them to try to control my anxiety. Turns out that the most common side effect, funnily enough, is nervousness. Guess I should've done more research. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20287) - you deserved it (4174)

On 07/07/2015 at 8:52pm - health - by BigHelp (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23781) - you deserved it (11949)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (1961)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML


I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13148) - you deserved it (31917)

On 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (4646)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (24436) - you deserved it (1913)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (2417)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32411) - you deserved it (2347)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (2925)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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