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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

22Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10297
  • Number of comments : 2607
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here, innit?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Johnnycake23</b> - yesterday at 9:29pm<b>marcusterry</b> - yesterday at 4:41pm<b>TJJOE</b> - yesterday at 2:25pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 9:05am<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:51am<b>Metashock</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 6:40am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:12pm<b>alex2102</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:05pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:50am<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:44am<b>coleh1998</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:36am<b>grajax</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 11:57pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Ghilliebro</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Khepre</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:53am<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:48am<b>aVindictiveWolf</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:37am

Fucked!<b>Johnnycake23</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Ghilliebro</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:38am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:20am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:01pm<b>coraline123c</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:49am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:07pm<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31917) - you deserved it (4457)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36774) - you deserved it (2586)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (4409)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16964) - you deserved it (54815)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29896) - you deserved it (4091)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
185 comments

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33214) - you deserved it (8109)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64428) - you deserved it (5642)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (45036)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (4491) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39355) - you deserved it (10385)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

#20515105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34102) - you deserved it (13959)

On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (3685)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37674) - you deserved it (8311)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments


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