Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laden_swallow09

Online | Search for a member

laden_swallow09

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5456
  • Number of comments : 1971
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Theghostlyisaiah</b> - 16 minutes ago<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - 23 hours ago<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:51am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:22pm<b>WantaDanish</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:36am<b>tylerbrynds</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:34am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:36am<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>akirakuran42</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:31pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:12pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:23pm<b>JustinKs</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:54pm<b>josiemijn</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:32pm<b>FedoraGuy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:38pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Onyxdragon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:41am<b>moonbootz</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:59am

laden_swallow09's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (2814)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

#20063189
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32408) - you deserved it (2389)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7900) - you deserved it (19772)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (4312)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (2923)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (8884)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8285) - you deserved it (51581)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6689) - you deserved it (46352)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19113) - you deserved it (46586)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

#20048535
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8216) - you deserved it (24849)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm - misc - by nolife - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29697) - you deserved it (5704)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (3666)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: