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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5207
  • Number of comments : 1944
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>PB_Crocodile</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:58pm<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:26pm<b>midnightm16</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:44pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:19am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:59pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:37pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:26pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:11pm<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:08pm<b>boser</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:32pm<b>AnonymousSpock</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:16pm<b>snorgia</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:48pm<b>Sam_A16_</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:25pm<b>levention</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:06am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:13pm<b>Niya96</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:05pm<b>ResoundingSpud</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:42pm<b>Thedmorgan</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:48pm

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (16857)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38898) - you deserved it (5993)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (11402)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40191) - you deserved it (3980)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47793) - you deserved it (3582)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44973) - you deserved it (3035)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39886) - you deserved it (5167)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47794) - you deserved it (5909)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

#21102658
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34142) - you deserved it (16402)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:20am - misc - by Sad Nerd (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39610) - you deserved it (5700)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

#21101111
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40779) - you deserved it (4026)

On 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm - work - by dunno why we bother (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40092) - you deserved it (3727)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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