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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6217
  • Number of comments : 2055
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - 9 hours ago<b>annamaria55555</b> - 14 hours ago<b>zippocobalt6</b> - 15 hours ago<b>justdausualtf</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Palindromesque</b> - yesterday at 10:37pm<b>KeannaLove</b> - yesterday at 11:37am<b>LordGoober</b> - yesterday at 11:24am<b>Rernokk</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:11am<b>BekiJ1</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:15am<b>air5</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:21pm<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:16pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:57pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:02pm<b>EndureAndSurvive</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 11:15am<b>ARKHAM88</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:40am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:27am<b>CamBen</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:13am<b>wang33334</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:41am

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55710) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51335) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47232) - you deserved it (10287)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55176) - you deserved it (10924)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, being the class nerd hasn't stopped me from being naive: none of my so-called friends has talked to me since the last day of exams. FML

Today, I went on a date with this girl. Turns out she's a software developer, too. Our date became a technical discussion. FML

#21195553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39016) - you deserved it (10421)

On 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm - love - by devdevdev (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46841) - you deserved it (4132)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38834) - you deserved it (7068)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42934) - you deserved it (6126)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52058) - you deserved it (16838)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

#21187067
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36489) - you deserved it (7417)

On 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by massachusettsan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

#21173408
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46156) - you deserved it (4605)

On 06/13/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46953) - you deserved it (3470)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)



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