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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5450
  • Number of comments : 1970
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - 19 hours ago<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:51am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:22pm<b>WantaDanish</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:36am<b>tylerbrynds</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:34am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:36am<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>akirakuran42</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:31pm<b>bkirky</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:12pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:23pm<b>JustinKs</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:54pm<b>josiemijn</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:32pm<b>FedoraGuy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:38pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Onyxdragon</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:41am<b>moonbootz</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:59am<b>hare</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:18am

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

#21163809
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40956) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/05/2014 at 11:16am - work - by DarkSerebii (woman) - United States

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34964) - you deserved it (16185)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

#21161539
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30716) - you deserved it (9101)

On 06/03/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by properpissed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

#21159568
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (3702)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by not paid enough (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42563) - you deserved it (3122)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42435) - you deserved it (4395)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33931) - you deserved it (53074)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51152) - you deserved it (6935)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63543) - you deserved it (8082)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (3451)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42244) - you deserved it (5026)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to once again lie to a customer about why I was the only one manning the shop, saying that they must have run out for lunch - my coworkers were too busy getting stoned in their cars to do their job. FML

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43528) - you deserved it (6183)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico



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