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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5660
  • Number of comments : 1996
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>jack_jill05</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Mak007</b> - 24 hours ago<b>theBadGuy37</b> - yesterday at 11:11pm<b>MildewMan</b> - yesterday at 9:35pm<b>kayse</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:13am<b>AwesomeRhone</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:14am<b>isuckwithnames</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:30pm<b>SouthernPride95</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:03am<b>Crossslide69</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:00pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:20pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:39am<b>shoopd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:13am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:54am<b>nataliewby</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:56pm<b>sammy981</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:32am<b>DarkRealmGolem</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Megwan05</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:46pm<b>emilycardona7</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:03pm

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (1889)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26815) - you deserved it (5545)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (7368)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (3489)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (5080)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (5080)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32527) - you deserved it (6548)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16704) - you deserved it (25834)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (3539)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27817) - you deserved it (4934)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24072) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML

#20083866
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20083) - you deserved it (2732)

On 09/22/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom



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