Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laden_swallow09

Search for a member

laden_swallow09

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5041
  • Number of comments : 1938
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>snorgia</b> - yesterday at 11:48pm<b>Sam_A16_</b> - yesterday at 11:25pm<b>levention</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:06am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:13pm<b>Niya96</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:05pm<b>ResoundingSpud</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:42pm<b>Thedmorgan</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:40pm<b>nikkibodnarchuk</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Garret12</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:11pm<b>The_Buffalo_Lord</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:58am<b>katydid91</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:09am<b>SalsaVerdeDonut</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:29am<b>tianyiwei</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:22am<b>Supergirl1988</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:08am<b>afkwarrior</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:07am<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 7:15am<b>depressed_child</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:47pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

#20073029
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5507) - you deserved it (27718)

On 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

#20073029
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5507) - you deserved it (27718)

On 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

#20072843
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5919) - you deserved it (31014)

On 09/15/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Rowan Curry - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23371) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (3809)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (3809)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (3809)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

#20069857
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (3082)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

#20067540
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12215) - you deserved it (51352)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by gemma - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML

#20067454
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (3252)

On 09/11/2012 at 11:08am - health - by Stevski (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15938) - you deserved it (10340)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: