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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12990
  • Number of comments : 2971
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>emmalouise89</b> - yesterday at 11:17am<b>FlashlightBob</b> - yesterday at 7:14pm<b>OhGawdMyEyes</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:01pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:50am<b>lexigirl1228</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:06pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:06pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 4:59am<b>DappeRB</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:43am<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:20am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Ilmoran</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:59pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:02am<b>Zinnie</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 7:28am<b>romegatekeeper</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:00am<b>foxmatrix15</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:24am<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 11:49pm

Fucked!<b>FlashlightBob</b> - yesterday at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges


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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40339) - you deserved it (4211)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45821) - you deserved it (20477)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43368) - you deserved it (3395)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38528) - you deserved it (26706)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39128) - you deserved it (2596)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (5222)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40167) - you deserved it (3787)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48790) - you deserved it (2908)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51155) - you deserved it (4644)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52671) - you deserved it (3902)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45005) - you deserved it (2535)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41609) - you deserved it (4672)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52573) - you deserved it (4478)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

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