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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6185
  • Number of comments : 2053
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (3230)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33982) - you deserved it (4096)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (3957)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (6617)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9727) - you deserved it (26045)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (1505)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47277) - you deserved it (6006)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (3264)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

#20160706
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5936) - you deserved it (48650)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (2092)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24746) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (2208)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28446) - you deserved it (1901)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (2514)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (4523)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -



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