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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7609
  • Number of comments : 2235
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it. That's likely why you're here, innit?

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>jerryj</b> - yesterday at 8:12am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:49pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:49am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:54pm<b>CVP3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:41pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:05am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:41am<b>melons</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Jetfrog28</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:35pm<b>jelenac</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:29pm<b>ohray</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:57am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:52pm<b>jsaw9509</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:18pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 10:16am<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 9:38am<b>901_khad</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:36am

Liked!<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:50pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

#20556028
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39360) - you deserved it (2715)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40976) - you deserved it (6082)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27920) - you deserved it (8018)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48365) - you deserved it (14419)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31810) - you deserved it (4450)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36641) - you deserved it (2578)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (4332)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16918) - you deserved it (54688)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (4084)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
183 comments

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33087) - you deserved it (8095)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61585) - you deserved it (5385)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (43187)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (4482) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39198) - you deserved it (10355)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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