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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Redneckville, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2382
  • Number of comments : 1424
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : It is a shame that correcting stupidity is called assault in the court system.

Oh, before I forget, I'm on the iPhone app only, so I'm sorry that I can't read your hate mail! :(

laden_swallow09's last visitors

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The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (2792)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

#14160677
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (1747)

On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

#14138501
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (6683)

On 12/09/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, while working as a hotel guard I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes I realized he was dead. FML

#14126104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (7249)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

#14095149
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10996) - you deserved it (58512)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53890) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (2240)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51122) - you deserved it (9744)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his Cubical. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (2328)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

#13799355
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (33090)

On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

#13777689
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (5484)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

#13655467
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14900) - you deserved it (19836)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm - love - by yummy(: - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34798) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

#13634710
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (4631)

On 10/29/2010 at 1:48am - intimacy - by ohmylordy (man) - United States (California)



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