About laden_swallow09 : It is a shame that correcting stupidity is called assault in the court system.
Oh, before I forget, I'm on the iPhone app only, so I'm sorry that I can't read your hate mail! :(
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (5547)
On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (4244)
On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19182) - you deserved it (2856)
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (32366)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, as I go to a small private Christian college, the academic dean came up to me and asked me to put some old records on CD, since I have a record player that can do that. I had to listen to eight records of old students from the 1970's singing bible thumper Christian hippie music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (7172)
On 02/18/2011 at 10:25am - misc - by Shodan2112 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24498) - you deserved it (8773)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (6933)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12326) - you deserved it (46760)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (37293)
On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)
Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22561) - you deserved it (2625)
On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (5780)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (7416)
On 02/03/2011 at 9:14pm - animals - by Disgusted - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22771) - you deserved it (4590)
On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (11028)
On 01/31/2011 at 12:58am - love - by Thanh Quang -
Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35008) - you deserved it (2373)
On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Friday 24 May 2013
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