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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

24Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10885
  • Number of comments : 2661
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here, innit?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - 18 hours ago<b>wangwong</b> - yesterday at 4:46pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:37am<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:05am<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:47am<b>JustinJK</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:43am<b>prissysgirl16</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:56pm<b>Apparentlyacunt</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 6:01am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 9:46pm<b>wazzup206</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 3:01am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:28am<b>dakotajohn</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 11:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:54pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:46pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:39am<b>devildog562</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:11pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:39pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:37am

Fucked!<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:20am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:01pm<b>coraline123c</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:49am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:07pm<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50977) - you deserved it (5618)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (3069)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44172) - you deserved it (3448)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

#20839746
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51915) - you deserved it (3015)

On 08/16/2013 at 1:02am - kids - by justwantingtohelp - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43026) - you deserved it (7728)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52335) - you deserved it (3755)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

#20835243
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (4859)

On 08/13/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by martyn28 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49539) - you deserved it (6235)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61552) - you deserved it (3336)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46484) - you deserved it (6219)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44382) - you deserved it (6278)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48036) - you deserved it (2904)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40945) - you deserved it (8905)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

#20817944
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55087) - you deserved it (5230)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:01am - intimacy - by tigger2013 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59212) - you deserved it (10611)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States



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