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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5127
  • Number of comments : 1944
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31102) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21038) - you deserved it (3040)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (2428)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

#20185423
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17216) - you deserved it (4230)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (2912)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30541) - you deserved it (2835)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (1546)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27927) - you deserved it (3224)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (6602)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9553) - you deserved it (25663)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (1500)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47151) - you deserved it (5996)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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