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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8316
  • Number of comments : 2362
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it. That's likely why you're here, innit?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - 2 hours ago<b>thebosslikeaboss</b> - 7 hours ago<b>addisonrose12</b> - 10 hours ago<b>WattledParsley</b> - yesterday at 5:32pm<b>wastingtimeisfun</b> - yesterday at 2:23pm<b>Amiiii</b> - yesterday at 12:49pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - yesterday at 11:12am<b>emeester</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:16am<b>Samiepoo</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:54am<b>ImBored15</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:53pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:03pm<b>afranklin212</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:12pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:13am<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:37pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:15pm<b>Jazoo1</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:04pm

Liked!<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:50pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55206) - you deserved it (64300)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (3013)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86156) - you deserved it (8219)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46794) - you deserved it (3380)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

#20703298
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42433) - you deserved it (4885)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by moreliketurdmart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69506) - you deserved it (4248)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50490) - you deserved it (6007)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48447) - you deserved it (3480)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML

#20699444
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43984) - you deserved it (3367)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by WHOO HOO AIDS (woman) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61180) - you deserved it (3019)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65809) - you deserved it (18739)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48991) - you deserved it (5648)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49216) - you deserved it (3576)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44574) - you deserved it (8460)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47336) - you deserved it (3922)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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