About laden_swallow09 : It is a shame that correcting stupidity is called assault in the court system.
Oh, before I forget, I'm on the iPhone app only, so I'm sorry that I can't read your hate mail! :(
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13580) - you deserved it (58454)
On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -
Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43195) - you deserved it (4125)
On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (2394)
On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12614) - you deserved it (34368)
On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39709) - you deserved it (4730)
On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States
Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (11591)
On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (42445) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (6656)
On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (24882)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12619) - you deserved it (36117)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48125) - you deserved it (4719)
On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China
Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11728) - you deserved it (46208)
Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (9082)
On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88705) - you deserved it (4719) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 20 May 2013
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