About laden_swallow09 : It is a shame that correcting stupidity is called assault in the court system.
Oh, before I forget, I'm on the iPhone app only, so I'm sorry that I can't read your hate mail! :(
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (4683)
On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my grandfather, who is a retired Marine, has paid real money to buy ALL the Lady Gaga themed items for his farm in FarmVille. I don't know what's worse, that he did it, or that I'm jealous of not having that stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (5827)
On 05/20/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (15522)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20989) - you deserved it (6657)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38128) - you deserved it (4192)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -
Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (39625)
On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (6041)
On 04/25/2011 at 12:27pm - misc - by Text - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42150) - you deserved it (7298)
On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36052) - you deserved it (5439)
On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (8814)
On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (12351)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45849) - you deserved it (10357)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I filed my taxes. As a divorcée with children, I was supposed to get $3,500 back from the IRS. Alas, my ex's new wife already filed with my children, who don't live with her. I now owe the IRS $250. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34230) - you deserved it (3220)
On 04/09/2011 at 12:07pm - money - by fuckmylifeLulu - United States (Texas)
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (7248)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
