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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5950
  • Number of comments : 2017
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>katydid91</b> - 24 hours ago<b>AdolphHipster</b> - yesterday at 11:09pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - yesterday at 4:01pm<b>BlackIce911</b> - yesterday at 2:13pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - yesterday at 9:12am<b>ChristianH39</b> - yesterday at 3:04am<b>MrKronos</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:47am<b>drivingmissdaisy</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:32pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:36pm<b>wysteria14</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:24pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:53pm<b>DisabledSkeleton</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:38am<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:47am<b>KushCrushin89</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:28am<b>nechelle365</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:38pm<b>Unkreative</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:19pm<b>aireeahna</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Dccj456</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:31pm

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79505) - you deserved it (4084)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44751) - you deserved it (4450)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41126) - you deserved it (11305)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (44236)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41153) - you deserved it (3733)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

#20572695
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42042) - you deserved it (3521)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35033) - you deserved it (7595)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (2542)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (2542)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (6072)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML

#20567871
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52201) - you deserved it (4828)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33536) - you deserved it (15307)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

#20556028
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (2659)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40885) - you deserved it (6077)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (8009)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States



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