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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

16Liked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9795
  • Number of comments : 2521
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it. That's likely why you're here, innit?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>cabub007</b> - 5 hours ago<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:36pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:26am<b>skobisco</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:56pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:44pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:20am<b>fridaayy</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:44pm<b>kaitlinfree</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:37am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:04pm<b>purelymixed</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:28pm<b>McDerp</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:03am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:16am<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:47am<b>mike1grand19</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:33am<b>Sweetx_xKarma</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:54am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:31pm

Liked!<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:20am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:01pm<b>coraline123c</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:49am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:07pm<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:50pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36465) - you deserved it (5202)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46616) - you deserved it (3672)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40092) - you deserved it (3414)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43417) - you deserved it (2527)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43417) - you deserved it (2527)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (6481)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54221) - you deserved it (6073)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (4082)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49339) - you deserved it (2606)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51782) - you deserved it (13531)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47779) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42851) - you deserved it (13802)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48744) - you deserved it (4311)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)



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